... Who needs titles? I don... ah shit

So... I recently looked at a few of my previous entries, and I thought that they were quite interesting, compared to trying to boil a swimming pool full of supersaturated salt solution. But I digress. How many of you thought I'd say digest? But that time is long gone. I have obtained my high school diploma, and have been in college for some time. So, in a reflection of this movement upwards on the educational scale, I have raised the bar on what makes sense and what doesn't. In other words, less things will make sense, starting now.

So, there was a bear this one time, who has no importance to this story. And I was at university unpacking when this bear decided to take a crap. Now, this crap was very normal bear crap, and thus my roomate was still not here because he was a sophomore. This bear also had no relation to the three bears that Goldilocks terrorized, and thus some things were to happen in which nothing would happen. So did things actually happen? Q. But it may have been a lowercase q. In that case, it would be lower. Because it is not upper. Then a angry, angry dentist attacked me, and I was unable to shoo it away, because it was toothurty two thirty. And then the world was not square, but rectangle instead. Some crab walked sideways over the edge of the world and found itself in the bottom of a well. But the world was really flat, so the bottom of the well was really the top of a building, which was also ground level, which explains why the roofs of buildings are so easy to walk on. But then the quail would quiver and rob a cardinal of the red from everywhere else, turning it to a robin. Why else are the eggs blue? And everybody knows that green eggs go with green ham. And where, dare I ask do purple eggplants come from? Exactly. Eggplants already are purple. So ham is already green. Do you see? Said the bee. Not I, said the fly. And the couple of dandelions waved in the sea, wishing they could be me, because everyone wishes they could be more awesome. But in the end, there is no start, and thus no midsaggital cut which would divide the end into a left and right. And therefore there is no sense in giving directions to people, as left and right are the same.

So anyways, I'm not used to doing much stuff right now, so I'm going to have to start practicing making sense. In a nonsensical manner.

Blah.

...

There is no title... oh wait...

Crappy Holidays

Well... I'm going to start actually making sense in my posts from now on... I hope. If not, I'll give warning or something like that. But... I'm a day behind, but whatever.

Cinco de Mayo. Why the hell do we even care about it in America? If, in popular opinion, it is some other random country's (Usually Mexico, I think I heard France once) independence day, why should we care? After all, us Americans are the epitome of foreign awareness. Well, according to http://www.vivacincodemayo.org/history.htm, Cinco de Mayo is a celebration of the day that 4,000 Mexian soldiers destroyed the combinded 8,000 army of traitor Mexicans and the French. This happened in Pueblo, by the way. This then apparently led through a very strange series of events, which I have no intention of repeating here, believing it to be mostly rubbish. I think both of the above reasons are rather weak reasons to celebrate the Cinco de Mayo. Instead, I propose a new holiday...

The Ides of March.

It applies to us so much more than this Cinco de Mayo crap. For one, the title of the day is in English, a language we all speak. Second, Ides of March sounds so much cooler than Cinco de Mayo. For example, when saying Cinco de Mayo, people could think that you're just talking with a really weird accent where you add on the "o" sound after each word you say. Thus Cinco de Mayo would really be "sink-o de (the) may-o" , or "sink the may", which could  be a shortened version of "Sink the Mayflower". I think that wanting to sink the ship that our forefathers came in (American forefathers, not my forefathers or many of yours) is decidedly unpatriotic. And that brings me to the third reason that the Ides of March is much better of a holiday to celebrate. The Ides of March, is the wonderous day in which Brutus assasinated Caesar, all in the name of defending the Republic from the tyrany that emperor that Caesar had become. A day commemorating the defeat of tyrany by the republic is wonderful, especially because our own government is (supposed to be) a democratic republic. What more could you ask? What better subject could you celebrate? Exactly. So next year, join me in celebrating the Ides of March. We'll go around assasinating tyrants while dressed in togas. It'll be fun! Meanwhile, ditch this Cinco de Mayo crap. It'll make the world a better place.

Aha. It seems that something has happened that makes me ramble on in my incoherently flawless logic that will be determined by the roll of the coin. I think that's a heads. Though it might be tails. But does it really matter? The answer, of course, is muffin. Because muffins are... muffiny... and.... made of muffins..... and... it... eats...... muffins for breakfast. Right. Breakfast. That's in several hours. But dang, that NSML sucked a lot. I really should stop what something anyways the world squares the cube of the rooting partial function in which the critical differential saddlepointed the integral of desperation to the ends of the end. In the other news, knews knew that new news would whether the weather would know that no nose knows no no's. But that's besides the point, off to the left, and a bit to the right as well. The question to the answer, is therefore the end of the period, which incidentally is not a question mark or a exclamation, but an explanation. The reason being that cutting trees creates chairs, and there are things that would feast upon the sight of the rabid thought of porcupine heating ghostly foodstuffs in gorganzola cheese. But then the cheeze would wheez, and the geezer geez, which I have no idea how you do. Exactly how to you fath or moth? Or would you cut a cutter and treebucket a sling and arms to the far walls of that place beyond the rainbow?

Ponder.

And a bit of stealery and trickery that makes it seem that all is trickery and stealery.

Exactly.

Wow. I just watched a dubbed version of FF7: Advent Children. So, let's see. The action was really cool, but of course, true to 99% of video games and things based off of video games, the physics was completely unrealistic. Dropping from hundreds of meters up with the sound of stepping down a single step? I don't think so. But as I said before, the action was cool. There wasn't much plot, but the plot that was there could have been worse, so whatever. I'll give this movie a decent rating. I'll rant about the plot later, but it will all be in black, so you'll have to highlight it, just for those of you who don't like spoilers. So, now that you have the background of this rant highlighted, literally in two senses, one being that I've gone over what the rant will be about, and two, you're probably highlighting this if you're reading it, unless you copy pasted it. Lamer. So. The story starts, in the middle of a desert. I have no idea what this desert has to do with anything else in the movie, but it does. And then, you see Red XIII with 2 members of his clan. They jump up a pile of rocks, music from the beginning of the game kicks in, but without the Aerith picking flowers part, just about from when the main title goes on the screen, to cut to the train. Yeah, that part. We are overlooking a cliff. Then, it shifts to Northern Crater, where we see a Shinra helicopter that decends into the mist, we hear screams, yells, exclamations to run, gunshots, and screams, again. Then, it cuts to the lifestream, and Sephiroth, while a voice educates us on some stuff. We slowly make our way to Tifa, in the bar, cleaning up. The phone is ringing. Apparently, Cloud is running a delivery service, on a motorbike. He gets a message from Tifa, saying that Reno has a commision for him. Blah blah blah, Cloud goes off. Then, we meet the villians. Kadaj, Yazoo, and Loz. Kadaj is the leader, and they all call Cloud ni-san. Yes. They are very, very strange. Well, Kadaj watches as Yazoo and Loz go after Cloud, summoning these weird things that vaguely look like zerglings. Suddenly, as Cloud notices, he flicks a switch, and out pops six or so blades from his bike. W. T. F. What the heck is he carrying those blades for? I mean, seriously, it's been 2 years since Sephiroth and the meteor. Even if you are paranoid, six is a little weird, especially if their all parts of one sword. Yeah, Cloud's weird like that. His sword splits into 6 pieces, with the whole sword looking a lot like the Buster sword. So, anyways, Cloud holds his own for a bit, then gets mobbed by the zerglings. Just as he is about to be ultimately pwned, Kadaj, who was on his cell phone with "boss", dispells the summons, and they leave. Very strange. Cloud goes off, listening to more messages. Barret is ecstatic about discovering a new oil field. Cloud enters a building, is attacked by Reno, who he pushes out the door, and locks out. Rude strolls in, and Reno comments that he's so cool. Through the door. Rude goes for his stun baton, and gets Cloud's sword held to his neck. Stuff happens, and Rufus is introduced, in a wheelchair. Amazing! Rufus didn't die! They try to convince Cloud to help them correct their wrongs, and Cloud rejects. We cut to Aerith's church, where we see Tifa and Marlene waiting for Cloud. By the way, there is this weird disease that has no cure that's going around, and apparently, Cloud has it. After Cloud leaves, Reno and Rude get beated up by the silver hair gang (Kadaj, Yazoo, Loz), and they talk to Rufus about where Mother is. Of course, this isn't quite like that children's book, are you my mother. No, I'm a cow. This is a "you lied to me" type of thing. Angry silver haired people. Yeah. Then, Loz (the one with the gauntlet, if you can't figure it out when you're watching) visits the church. Thats pretty fast traveling. He asks if Mother is there. Once again, this isn't a "no, I'm a pig". This is a "Mothers not here? why don't you play with me?" Then, they fight. Tifa, apparently, has found a need to keep her skills top notch through 2 years of peace, just like Cloud. The fight is full of flying, super jumps, selectively accelerated gravity, almost no blood at all, and, superhuman feats of strength. Tifa looks to be kicking ass, and Loz is dumped into a pile of rubble. The fanfare sounds. Seriously. Turns out, it's his ringtone.

Now let's think about that for a moment. Loz' ringtone.

So Loz gets up, and pwns Tifa, stealing Marlene. Cloud arrives to late, and suddenly, his arm starts to ooze, and he falls unconcious.

He wakes up, and Reno calls him fat. Well, just really heavy. Anyways, apparently, Yazoo is stealing away the sick children. He promises to cure them. Oh boy, I guess we can see where this is going, eh? Especially with those talks about "reunion". But anyways, Reno and Rude tell Cloud where they've gone, and Cloud gives chase. Kadaj gives a weird speech, gets the children to drink some water that turned black when he stepped in, and they get mindless. Oh well. Cloud arrives, and the children can suddenly jump really fast. There is a battle, Cloud is about to lose, and then a red cape appears and saves the day. Seriously. Later, the cape is revealed to be Vincent. Vincent gives Cloud a talking to, Cloud hallucinates, sees Aerith, asks for forgiveness. Suddenly, as if he's had an epiphany, he asks, "Can sin be forgiven?" Vincent replies, "I've never tried it before." Cloud then says that they're going back to Midgar, and that he'd give it a try, and tell Vincent how it works out. Flashback to when he woke up, stuff happens, his cell phone is gone. After some other stuff, we're back in Midgar, with a memorial of Midgar with chains on it, with a circle of stoned children, with Loz and Yazoo. They release zerglings upon the crowd. Tifa runs up to Denzel (one of the children, who is also friends with Marlene) and tries to snap him out of his tripping. But, he's "trippin' somethin' fierce", and just stands there. Loz and Yazoo go to pull down the memorial. Reno and Rude appear. They start a fight. Cut to Rufus and Kadaj. They talk about Jenova, who apparently turned a planet into a spaceship and flew to their world.... we see brown fluids leak out of Jenova's mask as she falls to the world. Weird stuff. Kadaj then summons what I believe to be Bahamut. More chaos. Zergling is jumping at Tifa, zergling is about to pwn Tifa, and then, it gets crushed by Bahamut, who goes to annihilate the memorial. Reno charges at Loz and Yazoo, stops short upon seeing Bahamut, and hits Rude in the face. They run.  A kid sticks his fingers up Reno's nose. Very strange. They all run. Bahamut anihilates the memorial. Roar. Reno and Rude, they never give up, just like in the game. They get pwned by Yazoo and Loz. Yazoo beats up Reno, ans Loz beats up Rude. The silver haired people say weird things. A sign falls on Rude, followed by Reno. As they get up, Reno steps on, and breaks Rude's sunglasses.

Rewind a bit.

Reno, steps on, and breaks, the sunglasses, that belong to Rude. And they shatter into little bits.

Then, Rude pulls another pair from his suit. Unbroken. Well, they actually get in one hit each, and then get pwned, again. Denzel stops tripping, sees Tifa unconcious, and runs at Bahamut. Maybe he still is tripping. Oh well, too bad we won't see him again, eh? Alas, we are without our childslaugher. Just before he can run into Bahamut's jaws, he is stopped by a metal arm. It's Full Metal Alchemist, Edward Elric! He's here to save the day! Or it's just Barret. With a tricked out, bling-bling gun arm. He sends Denzel away, and runs towards Bahamut. See ya, Barret. You can join Dino, or whatever his name was. But, Red XIII runs up, with Cait Sith on his head, and attacks. Bahamut is pissed, and throws Red XIII away, while Cait Sith complains. He's such a moocher. So, as Bahamut advances on Red XIII, Barret blasts it with a charged shot. Good distraction. Too bad it takes to long to charge up again, and you can't seem to run when you're charging. As Barret is about to be toasted, A flying star thingy flies in. Yuffie lands with a parachute. And here I was, thinking she was a ninja. Oh well. And dang, those boots! Those must take an hour to lace. There are 25 holes on each side! Thats way too many. Then, Yuffie runs off after swearing at the enemies for using her materia. Tifa is attacked again! Oh noes, four of them, one for each direction of the compass! Then, the omnipotent Cid jumps down. He kills the zerglings, and then brags about his airship. Vincent stalks in, asking about where the shop is. Finally, Cloud arrives, fashionably late, because, as Naruto puts it, "a hero has to arrive at the last moment". Bahamut wreaks havoc, the other party members scratch at it. Cloud joins in. Rufus reveals Jenova's head in a box to Kadaj, and throws it off the building. Kadaj, makes Bahamut fly up for a big attack. Cut to Bahamut. Cloud jumps, is thrown by Barret, hit down by Bahamut, hit up by Cid, thrown up by Red XIII, boosted up by Yuffie, thrown up by Vincent, then finally Tifa, and he goes on to Bahamut. Bahamut attacks, with a giant energy ball that is a hundred times Cloud's size, but Cloud has a blue aura, and that makes him invincible. Inside the energy ball, Cloud goes tripping, and Aerith heals him of his disease, which is only in his arm, for some reason. Cloud runs up Bahamut's back while dragging his sword. That always works. Bahamut dies. Kadaj is angry, tries to kill Rufus, misses, and they both fall down the building. Rufus wastes about 30 bullets, and finally manages to nick the box. Universal Gasp. Kadaj gets the box, but it's leaking. Cloud is suddenly on his motorbike. Chase through the highway. Eventually, Reno and Rude leave a pack of explosives for Loz and Yazoo while Cloud continues to chase after Kadaj. Chase to Aerith's church. Kadaj is angry. the flowers turn to water suddenly, and Kadaj runs away. Cloud follows. Big fight.

Kadaj is finally losing. Then, he... eats? Jenova? And becomes... Sephiroth! OMGWTF! I never saw that coming! They fight, Sephiroth seems to have the advantage near the end, but then Cloud unleashes a limit break which utilizes spliting his sword into it's six parts. And then Sephiroth is defeated. Kadaj returns, and collapses when trying to kill Cloud. He hears Aerith, and dissolves to Lifestream. It rains a healing rain. Then, as everyone is happy, Cloud is shot from behind. We see Loz and Yazoo, with glowing arms of materia. Cloud attacks them, but they explode.

White again. Cloud wakes up, sees that he's in the church, heals Denzel with the healing water, and everyone rejoices, and we see that Cloud hallucinates Aerith and Zack. As a side note that should have come earlier, Sephiroth's sword is way to long. But anyways, yeah. The movie ends.

Now that the movie summary is over, whatever. http://torrentspy.com/directory.asp?mode=torrentdetails&id=406322 for the .avi, http://home.houston.rr.com/xbank/stuff/bien-xvid-ff7.zip for the subtitles in english. You need bittorrent or some other torrent thingy to get the avi. You'll also need VLC Media player (go to downloads.com and search VLC). You choose Open File (Ctrl-F), to to the File tab, click on Browse, and select the .avi. Then, check the subtitle options, click on the settings next to it, click on browse, and select the .srt file in the zip file. then, just ok everything, and enjoy.